Lately i've been really self conscious about the way i act when i'm out with friends....
I've been noticing how mellow i am compared to others...
I cant help it...
i hate it...
yesterday i had a really good day with friends but i felt really bad because i was so quiet and mellow...
people are always asking me if i'm ok...
i'm ok guys...thanks for the concern...but this is what i'm like when i'm happy hahah
i think its because i'm such an observer...
I like to watch....
i think thats why i am so clumsy when my friends from out of town come to chicago....
hahah, it makes sense...i mean i'm so busy being bubbly...im so out of my element you know?
i also think i have an old soul....
people aways comment on how old i act...and no i don't mean mature...i mean..old like elderly....
haha...i'm starting to see those characteristics in my behavior....
sigh
on a more serious note...
Why is it...when i'm going through an obstacle in my life it is so much easier to believe and have faith in God...its in those times that i feel really close to God....
but...its the time after the obstacle, the infliction of pain.....i feel so far away from him?
its in these times that I feel a different kind of pain...a deeper feeling of emptiness...
The light seems to be getting dimmer...
hope seems to be fleeting farther and farther...
The temperature of my heart is falling...
colder...and colder...
No comments:
Post a Comment