For two years I've been trying to figure our where I stand when it comes to my work and God...
I always felt really torn because I always thought you could only have one or the other...
but lately im starting to understand that this is not true...
I can use the Gift God has given me to serve him...
I've never been good with Words...
This always drove me crazy because i have so much inside me that i want to express...
I thought about it for a long time today and i figured it out...
I love photography...
I probably love it more then i should haha...
when I am working on creating photos i go into this state where it consumes me...i eat...i breathe...i see only what i want to capture...
but why?
because its playing with Light...
the word photography literally translates into "writing with light"
why am i always so drawn to light?
maybe because deep down im drawn to God...and his light...
God is Light...
he created the world we see...
and i guess i feel the need to capture it...
lately ive been constantly fascinated by the history and process of photography...
the whole ideal of capturing what the naked eye cannot see...
Yesterday i looked through all my photographs...
and i see a small similarity among them...
there is an overall sense of intimacy...not between two people...but a person and Light...
in all my photos people are usually alone and isolated...but there is always the light...
Maybe this light is soppose to represent something deeper...
.....
or maybe i need to just get back to working on my final HAHHA
aigoo
I know this is out of the blue (and I just started to read your blog if you dont mind...)but I have been pondering this exact conflict as well. I continually feel guilty and torn between a love for a specific form of work (film) and my allegiance to GOD. Recently, I told Jess that its hard for me to find a parallel between God and film. I beat myself up for not becoming some kind of missionary or nun. It is very difficult to serve one thing... These days, it is easy to get distracted so I came to the conclusion that one must outwardly follow God with complete piety. I thought this form of spiritual candor was needed at all times. I made myself very confused, because I saw my passion as self-indulgent, highlighting the worldly aspects of life. Bottom line, I'm glad you wrote this. Maybe there is a sense to our human passions and endeavors- sense, in which they do represent God. Maybe art is a just as much altruistic as alms to poor- only if it is approached with complete reverance to the life it exposes and frames, realizing the beauty of God's world. In itself, we can serve and praise God with our seemingly petty careers or endeavors, as long as we remember its purpose to others and remain humble in our discovery of such things.
ReplyDelete:) Sorry if I rambled on a private topic.