JUST JANE

ok...
so two days have passed...
and now it has hit me again...
Today i woke up to my Parents arguing again with their business partners...
ugh, i have to say...i was pretty pissed...
i was pissed because nothing really changed...
they were still fighting over the same things...
i know i shouldn't take sides..but naturally i believe my parents...not only because they are my parents but because i had to deal with all this crap for 3 years...and during the three years i've witness first hand my parents struggle with these people. The hypocrisy, the lying...the cheating was so unbelievable....
Til this day i cannot believe my parents have to deal with the things they have to deal with because of these people...
sometimes i am in just pure shock with how immature these people act...
Today i lay in bed and thought about Why my family moved to North Carolina...
Looking back i still feel the same as i did when i stepped into this state...
regret...sadness and anger...
If my family could go back 8 years...we would never ever have come here...
I think about who my parents were 8 years ago...
they were very respectable members of church...
they were a great couple
great parents (*still are)
My dad especially was so different....
i miss those days...
now i understand the changes in My parents...
Today i realized how hard it must of be for them...
now that im an adult i see things really differently...
I look at what my parents had to deal with for the past 8 years and i feel angry for them...
When i think of my parents i cant help but hurt a little for them too...
for a long time i kind of resented my parents...blamed them for alot of the pain in my past...
but now i look at them and i cant help but understand and relate to them..
I look up to them...