articulation

I dont know what happened to me...
i feel like in the last two years i have lost my ability to articulate my thoughts so that they make sense.
Its frustrating because i have lost ability to have deep conversations...
does this make sense?
I dont know what it is.
I think for the past two years ive been keeping so much inside...that ive just gotten used to it.
Today I ate dinner with a few friends and talked about how as we mature, the idea of love and relationships change.
I was trying to talk about how my relationship with Changmin has really opened my eyes and heart to what Love is on a spiritual level..but for some reason i felt like it came out really stupid.
Lately i think im starting to notice this more and more..especially during critics...
sometimes i get really worried...and i wonder if i lost too much of myself..my confidence in the last two years.
It really makes me wonder what was so different two years ago in my life that made me so different.
Sometimes i feel as though my heart has closed up even more AFTER moving to Chicago...
deep down i see this...i feel this and i want to change it..
but i dunno its hard...
again..it hard for me to really express into words...what i feel right now
this is driving me crazy