Rant

oh man..I should really be editing right now...but I'm so distracted with other things..
im too busy reading other photo blogs and looking at other work...
a few minutes ago i was reading GRACE YANGS blog and came across this photograph...
wow...I was so moved by this picture...I seriously started to tear up.
I really felt for the mother...as an Asian women I understand how sad it can be for a mother to give her daughter away...
even though the mother is probably really happy for her daughter...I could really feel also the sadness...ahh...so beautiful...so intimate...
this picture made me think of my own situation. Even though I was born and raised in America.I happened to fall in love with a pretty traditional korean guy who comes from a very traditional korean family....after 7 years of dating I am starting really see the reality of marriage coming close and closer. Even though I put up a front infront of my friends like I dont think about it...I do...I mean how can I not?! Sometimes I think about my mom and dad giving me away and I tear up. Times like these I wish i was the first born son ^^.

Ah, I'm swamped with projects both school and personal..
there is so much i have to do before I fly back to visit North Carolina..
I have to somehow find a way to get access to the NC STATE library computers during the break so I can edit and work on my portfolios..
I'm also going to continue with a personal project back in NC with my Medium Format camera so I have to go and get that checked too. Ugh. I have a feeling I might have to wait and get it checked at Peace camera in Raleigh which I'm not happy about...
I dont know what it is about Peace camera..
Even when I was first really getting serious about photography whenever I went into that store to buy things the workers never took me seriously. They were really condescending and just treated me really badly. Sometimes I even sensed that it was also because I was a woman...
I dunno what it is about camera stores. 99 percent of the workers are usually men and treat women photographers like they are amateurs...no matter how serious we are...
I guess that the one plus about living in a big city..there's just too many people and too little time to care haha.
anyways...I just helped my best friend/model/muse Junghwa just purchased a Canon DSLR and im really excited to meet up with her tomorrow to check it out haha.
I feel like im going to go meet her baby or something haha.
I'm thinking about meeting her at the art institute so I can show her the new Photography exhibit in the new modern wing.
ah, man..I'm sitting in the digital lab as I type this entry...it is so freakin hot in here. I just looked around and realized almost 90 percent of the kids in the lab are working on studio work haha. Everyone is really scrambling to get their prints done and negatives scanned.
I guess that's the one beauty of being in a upper level class this semester. I am allowed to shoot and print digitally which saves a butt load of time and money. Although I have to admit...I dont think i'm going to continue working like this after this semester.
Next semester i'm going to die because ill be developing and processing my own film again...
ill also be lugging around huge 4x5 negatives and a big arse camera all over the city.
I would be lying if I said I wasnt scared about this class..I hear so many horror stories about The View Camera..just thinking about it makes me shake. Im already trying to brainstorm for my Final in that class haha.
wow...i am so off topic...
ugh..i keep thinking about my portfolio and Website. I'm suppose to be working with my graphic/web designer friend and getting my website together..but were both so swamped with school we really haven't had the time to sit down and sketch out any ideas. I also need to work on my business card and identity. I cant even decided what name I will go by...
The other day I googled the name Jane kim and found like 10 photography websites hahah.
wow...
so then I typed Young Kim (my Korean name) and found another 10.
aigoo.
My parents gave me such a typical Korean American name..haha.
A few years ago I came across Jesse Chun's work. I read somewhere that she specifically used the name Jesse instead of Jessica so that her clients wouldn't know whether she was a female or male until after they hired her. haha. So clever. I thought about doing this too..but i dunno...Jane Kim....to...JKIM? That just looks like a screen name or something...
In my school there are two female photographers with really cool names...
Tertty uibopuu and Petya Shalamanova
I love that their names are so hard to spell...it makes you remember their names especially in print...
maybe i should change my name to...aslkjelkajlskjf?